


only have my heart to spend

by Lire_Casander



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Past Cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-07
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 18:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29888856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lire_Casander/pseuds/Lire_Casander
Summary: carlos and tk are at the farmer’s market, where they go every week asfriends, when they run into someone carlos wasn’t expecting to see, now or ever again
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Comments: 20
Kudos: 226





	only have my heart to spend

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pragmatic_optimist34](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pragmatic_optimist34/gifts).



> beta’ed by [meloingly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meloingly)
> 
> title from _better together_ by praytell
> 
> written for [pragmaticoptimist34](https://pragmaticoptimist34.tumblr.com/)’s request for [my thirsty thursday project](https://lire-casander.tumblr.com/post/644729232177725440/banner-by-lovely-lovely-spaceskam-also-its-time), **_prompts 24. kisses for a cover + 29. hushed conversation in between kisses_**
> 
> this was supposed to be a short drabble, but this happened. i hope you enjoy it!

TK is ambling around the farmer’s market, stopping here and there at some of the stalls, while Carlos is a few steps in front of him chatting with one of the vendors about a crocheted blanket he’s been thinking about gifting to his mother for her birthday. He’s enjoying himself, taking the chance to admire Carlos from afar in the same way he’s been doing for the past year and a half. 

When Carlos turns around and smiles at him openly, TK holds back a sigh and reciprocates the grin with one of his own.

They’ve been dancing around each other for so long that TK doesn’t really remember a time when he hasn’t been _utterly_ in love with Carlos Reyes. Ever since moving to Texas — ever since the whole debacle with Alex and uprooting himself upon his father’s strict _request_ — everything in TK’s world has been gray and numb, except when he’s staring into Carlos’ warm, brown eyes. Then, not only does the world stop spinning, but it also bursts out in colors. Colors so bright that they blind him sometimes.

TK would walk through fire to see the world through those colorful lenses every day of his life.

But for now, he contents himself with being Carlos’ friend — with considering Carlos his best friend — so he hangs out at Carlos’ place with the rest of the 126 and several of Carlos’ friends from the precinct, and he meets with Carlos for their weekly farmer’s market date as _friends_. 

TK stops stalling and joins Carlos when he’s grabbing the blanket from the vendor and asking her to keep the change. “Nice blanket,” he praises. “Your mom is going to love it.”

“Thanks,” Carlos replies, beaming down at him. TK’s always felt small whenever he’s around Carlos, but he’s never felt belittled. “I’ll tell her you liked it. That’ll help my case.”

“Well, you know I’m her favorite,” TK teases. Carlos shakes his head and says nothing, moving to another stall where a few potted plants are on display. TK knows he’s been wanting to buy a pothos for _forever_ , and he must stop him from getting one today.

It’s TK’s gift for Carlos’ own birthday, merely two days before his mother’s.

“I still don’t think it’s a good idea that you get yet _another_ plant for your condo, Carlos,” he begins, only to be cut off by the man himself, who’s looked up from the display but is now staring at some point at TK’s back, completely petrified.

"Shit," Carlos says under his breath, eyes wide. "This can't be happening." 

"What can't be happening?" TK asks gently, turning from Carlos to the spot that has his friend so tensed up. All he can see is two massive guys holding hands as they check over the camellias at a different stall. He frowns. "I didn't peg you for a homophobe, Officer Reyes." 

"I am _not_ —" Carlos begins, before realizing that TK is messing with him. 

"Don't you think I already know that, Carlos?" TK asks softly. 

They had a stellar beginning — clashing together in a fit of angry words and fighting within the first fifteen minutes of working on the same call — before finding out they actually were a good team at work and outside of it. Once they sorted out their differences and began considering themselves as friends, they became unstoppable. And also inseparable. Marjan and Paul used to tease TK about how the two of them were joined at the hip until they caught up on how uncomfortable it made him, and stopped.

TK’s always reminded of their rocky start, of their bicker and their banter and that fateful night when he went to a bar and threw himself into a brawl only to feel _something_. Carlos had been the officer to process him, and for some reason that TK still doesn’t understand — he thinks it’s simply fate — he opened to Carlos in a way he hadn’t done even before Alex. He’s never had anyone to talk to who listened the way Carlos listens to him. It felt _right_ to talk to him, it felt right to listen back. The next time they crossed paths at the honky-tonk, Carlos sat beside him, and they went out running together every morning when their shifts lined up after that.

They built a friendship that feels unbreakable to TK, but he knows how easily life can be turned upside down. He doesn’t want to risk not having Carlos in his.

It’s not _just_ that he doesn’t like the idea of ever getting away from Carlos. It’s just that he has a history of fucking up, and Carlos has his issues as well. Neither of them has had it easy in their lives — TK with his break-up and his relapse, Carlos with his parents’ attitude after coming out and his cheating ex-boyfriend. TK would kill that man, even if he’s the reason why he and Carlos started talking in the first place — it turns out that bonding over cheating boyfriends can bring two people closer than any other topic.

They could have been so much more, but TK’s been a scared little shit and he’s never spoken up about the growing feelings he’s been developing for Carlos. He’s been falling in love with Carlos, and there’s nothing stopping his fall — not even Andrea and Gabriel Reyes accepting their son’s sexuality one night only to never bring it up again and therefore hurting Carlos almost beyond repair.

TK had wanted to take Carlos’ heart the night he confessed what had been going on with his parents — after Andrea had made a few snide comments to TK during one of the Reyes family gatherings he’s become a fixture at now — but he hadn’t been ready for the consequences of opening up to Carlos like that. He’s been convincing himself that they work better as friends, that it’s better to have Carlos as a friend than to not have him in his life at all — one of the few people who know the life of a first responder first-hand. 

But apparently, TK has been doing a sloppy job at this whole friend thing, for he has no idea what's going on right now. 

"Alberto," Carlos manages to say, hands shaking as he drops the potted plant he's been holding. TK doesn't need anything else to understand. 

He's heard enough about Carlosʼ ex-boyfriend to form an educated opinion on him, even if he has never seen a picture of him. Even Cowboy Judd — who always has a nice word about everyone — refrains from speaking that name in front of Carlos, since the nicest thing he has to say about Alberto is that he's a piece of shit. 

"Is that the cheating son of a bitch?" TK questions. It's rhetorical — he already knows the answer, from Carlosʼ nervousness — but he needs to calm his friend before he gives himself a heart attack. 

"They—they're coming here," Carlos says in a frenzy. "I can't—Ty, I can't—" 

"Kiss me," TK blurts out. It comes out rushed, and heʼs not sure why he said that, but it's out now. "Show him you've moved on." 

"But I really haven't—" Carlos starts to say, only to be cut off by TK effectively shutting him up with a kiss. 

It's not earth-shattering. It's not all fireworks. But, to TK, it feels like coming home. 

He doesn’t dwell too much on the feeling, disregarding the somersaults his heart is doing and pushing the butterflies in his stomach back to where they belong. Now is not the time to become excited about this kiss — neither is it the moment to realize that this will forever be their first kiss. TK is beginning to regret it — regret that he will never have this with Carlos ever again, regret that he's jeopardized their friendship because there’s no way Carlos hasnʼt noticed how TK feels about him, not when he thinks itʼs written all over his face and poured from his bare soul. 

“What are you doing, TK?” Carlos sounds frantic even in his most hushed voice, barely above a whisper. 

“They wonʼt pay us any attention now,” TK mutters back. He doesn’t know where his bravery comes from, but it makes him lift his left hand and cup Carlosʼ face in a tender caress that sends his heart reeling. 

TKʼs about to fall onto his knees and confess his undying love for the man who's looking down at him as though he is the most important thing in the world right now. 

“You sure? Because I don't think—” 

“Carlos?” The voice startles them both, breaking the bubble in which TK would have remained for the rest of his life — a place where Carlosʼ focus is solely on him, in a daze that leaves him breathless. “Is that you?” 

“Oh, uh, Alberto,” Carlos greets, disentangling himself from TK. There’s a fake smile plastered on his face that hurts TK almost physically. This isn't the Carlos he knows and loves — this is a version he would kill to protect, stammering and nervous and on the verge of a breakdown. “I, uh—” 

TK turns around to face the strangers and is met with a tall guy with grey eyes looking at him curiously. The second man is as big as the first one, but he doesn’t seem to be as nosey. 

“Hey, Iʼm TK,” he says, stepping forward and stretching his hand. 

“Alberto,” the first man introduces himself. “Iʼm a friend of Carlosʼ.” 

“That’s funny, because he's never ever mentioned you,” TK dares to say in an even voice. “And I would know.” 

“Itʼs been a while since we last talked, Carlos and I.” 

The man beside Alberto shifts uncomfortably. TK smiles his sweetest smile before plunging for the kill. “Seems like a feeble friendship, if you don't talk that much.” 

“TK,” Carlos intervenes for the first time. His voice is still shaky but he sounds more grounded now. TK feels Carlosʼ hand sneaking to clasp around his own, and he squeezes to let Carlos know he's not alone. “Alberto and I used to date, a long time ago.” 

TK worries his lower lip with his teeth, flashing white against red. “Is this the infamous ex who cheated on you?” 

“With Alexis here,” Carlos continues. He has stopped trembling, so TK will consider this a win after all. “Have I told you that I caught them red-handed in my apartment, in _my_ bed—” 

“Carlos, that was a long time ago,” Alberto says, almost pleading. 

“I wanted to meet you so I could thank you properly,” TK cuts him off. He’s got enough of this bullshit already — he wants to be left alone with Carlos so he can try to sort out what the actual fuck is happening. 

“I don't think I was talking to you.” 

“Oh, but I was talking to _you_ ,” TK retaliates, not even missing a beat. He feels Carlos pulling at his hand. “I wanted to thank you for being such a jerk, because your loss has been my gain. You left one diamond for some fake gleam, and although it hasn't been an easy path I am thankful for you being a cheating son of a bitch, because now I get to be with Carlos for the rest of my life.” 

There’s a stunned silence that Carlos finally dares to break — always the savior, even when itʼs him who needs saving — by clearing his throat and saying, “Iʼm afraid we can't stay to chat, Alberto, Alexis. Weʼre already running late to Tía Lucyʼs weekly family gathering.” 

“You—I—you two go to Tía Lucyʼs?” Alberto splutters, but Carlos is already tugging at TK to move, and they're almost halfway through the nearest stall when he manages to reply. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” 

Whatever Alberto was answering, it gets lost in the air as they move away, taking shelter behind a different stall, secluded and out of sight. Carlos turns to meet TKʼs gaze; heʼs flushed, eyes still wide and wary, hands gripping TKʼs with so much force that he knows there will be bruises.

“What has that been, TK?” Carlos demands. “Out there, what—” 

“Iʼm sorry. I got carried away. But I hate,” TK trails off with a sigh. “I hate that he has so much power over you because you deserve to be happy. You deserve to let go of his memory and just live.” 

“Did you mean it?” 

“Did I mean what?” 

Carlos hasn't let go of TKʼs hand, and heʼs well aware of that fact in the way the warmth spreading through his body isn’t his. “That speech.”

TK sighs again. This isn't how he pictured the scene whenever he daydreamed about declaring his love for Carlos — definitely not in a farmer's market after their first kiss turns out to be a cover from Carlosʼ ex-boyfriend. But this is whatʼs happening, and the light of hope he spies in Carlosʼ brown eyes is the push he needs to take a leap of faith. 

“I meant everything I said and did, Carlos. Everything. Even—even the kiss.” 

TK looks briefly down at his feet, his eyes deterred from both their hands still holding each other, a sharp intake of breath cutting the air. He isn’t sure whether it's been him or Carlos. But the hand isn’t letting go, and there are fingers beneath his chin, lifting his face up until heʼs staring back at Carlos. He shrugs noncommittally, suddenly very self-conscious. 

“God knows that's what I was hoping youʼd say,” Carlos all but growls. He leans in to capture TKʼs mouth with his own, this second kiss sweeter and also shorter. He pulls away to move to TKʼs cheek, dropping a kiss there. “I don't know what to say. I just—” 

The words are barely a whisper, a stark contrast with before. TK finds himself basking in them, swaying closer to Carlos, wanting to be wrapped in his arms. “Iʼve been hoping for this to happen for so long,” he mutters back, trying to chase Carlosʼ mouth. “I didn’t think I—” 

“Same here,” and there’s awe in the words that leave TK speechless. He manages to steal another kiss, just a peck. “I didn’t think I had a chance at this, and then you—and I—I wish our first kiss wouldn’t have been a lie.” 

“Been fantasizing about kissing me, uhm, Officer?” TK teases. He takes a step forward, throwing his arms around Carlosʼ waist. “I don't think it's a lie, if what we both feel is real, Carlos. It wasn't ideal but it was _us_.” His words ring so true that even he himself has to believe them. 

They might not have had the perfect first kiss, but that would have been a first for them — theyʼve never done anything by halves. The only thing that matters to TK now is to be able to kiss Carlos all day every day for as long as he lives. 

Later, they will discuss what this means to their friendship — which TK can only hope won't be affected — and to their parents — although Carlos admits in between kisses that he thinks his parents have picked up on his crush on TK. That's a problem for another moment, though. 

Now TK needs to make up for lost times as he pulls Carlos closer to him and proceeds to map every single freckle and mole in his face, tracing every inch with his tongue, while promising Carlos under his breath that he will do the same, later, with the rest of his skin.


End file.
